The Abstract Self-Portrait
Video (shown with specific conditions at offline exhibitions)
41:41 min
2018
The Abstract Self-Portrait emphasis on the experience of the (painting) process. I portray in an abstract way what is going on in my head. I continuously experiences a restless feeling as a result of the tension between order and chaos and I’m always searching for the connection between the two. When I experience too much chaos, I let my obsessive perfectionism run free and if that structure becomes too dominant, I will add chaos again. However, I do not believe in one final outcome and experience the moment between contradictions as sublime (such as a love-hate relationship). I work process-based towards this connecting and contradicting moment. I feel the strong need to take the viewer into this process in order to experience the same as I do.
By literally transforming painting Say Yes When You Want To Say No #6 into video and sound, the painting unfolds with each added layer. A color accentuates a tone and no paint implies no sound. With The Abstract Self-Portrait, I create new gateways through that process into that sublime experience. The video continuously constructs moments of contradictions and connections between process and result, between painting and sound, and between myself and the viewer.
Say Yes When You Want To Say No #6
Acrylic & oil on linen
110 x 70 cm
2016
