The Abstract Self-Portrait

Video (shown with specific conditions at offline exhibitions)
41:41 min
2018

The Abstract Self-Portrait emphasis on the experience of the (painting) process. In my paintings I portray what is going on in my head in an abstract way. I continuously experience a restless feeling between order and chaos. So when I experience too much chaos, I let my obsessive perfectionism run free and if that structure becomes too dominant, I will add chaos again. In this never-ending search for a peace of mind, I experience the contradicting and connecting moment of the in-between as sublime. For this film, I literally transformed painting Say Yes When You Want To Say No #6 into video and sound. It unfolds with each added layer, where color accentuates a tone and no paint implies no sound. I created new gateways through that process into that in-between feeling of self-restraint and complete freedom. The video constructs moments of contradictions and connections between process and result, painting and sound and between myself and the viewer.

Say Yes When You Want To Say No #6
Acrylic and oil on linen
110 x 70 cm
2016